[redox-kun]

[attr="class","stt"]

sophia paid the last of her meager savings to bribe a garrison man into letting her past wall sina. it's not much, but their pay is nothing like that of the military police's.

she steps onto the neatly-paved white stones of the district, and she feels at home again. this is the place where she had built her memories with her brother, a place that even his death couldn't take from her. sophia tries to remember the way that the capital folk would walk, the exact angle at which they would hold their heads up high. she straightens her walk, confident that nobody would look at her twice.

(somewhere at the back of her head, sophia hoped that he would look at her twice, thrice, and many times more)

it's been so long since she's been to his office - a year, almost. the day before her court-martial. it's only when sophia reaches the steps that she remembers that she should have written a letter to such a busy man. there's not even a guarantee that he wouldn't be out for lunch or meeting a patron.

sophia knocks on the door and hopes fervently that she would be able to see him once more. she believes in her own skills more than anyone else, but that didn't matter as a legionary. she doesn't know if she will be caught unawares by a titan or if she would be unknowingly sent to sacrifice herself for humanity's future, but the she does know that this man is the last person to show her the miracle known as 'certainty'. he's not perfect, but he's the closest that she will get in these turbulent times.

elite titan killer or convicted felon, he did not turn her away. she can only hope that he will not turn her away now.

if he's even here now.

PARADISE

[attr="class","addr"]darth vader

LAIKA OF GS!

[newclass=.addr:hover]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:1;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.addr]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass]

[darth vader]

no hope all heart

The stack of paperwork before him is enough to make Zahir briefly wish he'd chosen another branch of work. Of the dozens of documents he needs to sign off on today, only three are going to be anywhere near important, he surmises. Half will be unnecessary requisitions from the military police that he'll decline (admittedly with a fair amount of glee), the other half will be petitions from the local civilians ranging from "please let the military police just start slaughtering the poor, they're clogging the streets" to petty squabbling over someone's window being blocked by someone else's house.  And maybe, somehow, an actual matter of justice will slip through in the middle of all the mess. And then his job will be worth it. Zahir sighs, picks up his pen, and pulls the first document off the stack in front of him when there's a knock at the door.  There's no appointments due today--someone dropping off another load of papers? He prays not.  "Let yourself in," he calls from his desk. "Door's open." The black ink on the paper in front of him swims.

LAIKA OF GS!

[redox-kun]

[attr="class","stt"]

the feeling of calm washes over her when sophia hears his voice, and it's different from the steeled calm that is forged from fire and iron. it's the latter kind that keeps her alive, but it's the former that makes life worth living.

she has been forumulating her apology since she had left her house, since thalia had left, probably. she's sent the draft to her internal editor, reviewed the critique, and finished the final. all that's left is for her to deliver it to the intended audience.

when she steps into the room, she no longer walks like the capital woman that daniel had always wanted her to be. her walk is more relaxed now, more like the squad leader that she once was. it's always been easy to imitate the high society women, but so harder to find herself amongst the wildgrasses and the trees. she's not sure what she sees in herself now.

"mr. brand --" she falters for half a beat, and reminds herself that she no longer has time to spare on formalities. not now, not on him "zahir. i'm sorry for not giving prior notice"

PARADISE

[attr="class","addr"]darth vader

LAIKA OF GS!

[newclass=.addr:hover]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:1;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.addr]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass]

[darth vader]

no hope all heart

There are people Zahir expected to see on the other side of the opening door--Sophia Rosenburg was not one of them. He half rises from his char as she speaks, registering her words dimly. Her switch to his first name doesn't escape him. He clenches one hand into a fist. "Please don't apologize, Sophia," he says. "You're not interrupting anything of importance. Sit down--" He chews at his lip, continues, "--I don't have anything to offer you I'm afraid but I can send someone for tea, some food." The question feels so heavy over his head that Zahir can't imagine speaking it, as if it will burst into existence with or without his will. But he must.  "What brings you here today?"

LAIKA OF GS!

[redox-kun]

[attr="class","stt"]

already, her chest starts to tighten. he reminds her what it means to be cherised. suddenly, the world outside of his vicinity seems like such a lonely place. after all those years in the scouting legion, sophia thought that she had learned the language of lonliness, but people like daniel and zahir manage to replace that lexicon of their own.

she can see his worry before he asks the question, and it only strenghtens sophia's resolve to hold it together in the way that a proper soldier must. this isn't like twelve months ago. she's not here to ask for his help again, not here to put any more unreasonable requests on his plate. the consequences of her choices are things that sophia must face alone, and she must not appear weak when she is conveying this to him.

she chooses to stand, and her voice does not waver. "i'm fine, thank you. i don't think that i should stay long"

her pain had certainly strengthened her resolve as a soldier, but zahir was the one who strenthened her heart when he had taught her how to live without the uniform. soon, sophia will put on the wings of freedom, but there are things that she will not throw away. not again. he has made them valuable.

she looks him in the eye and focuses the sort of resolve that it had taken for her to abandon a dying subordinate, to lie to a single mother. "the commander sent thalia de luca to my house. i am leaving with her tomorrow, and i have already cancelled my rent. i'm sorry"

she wishes that she could look away, but she won't. this is what she deserves, at the very least.

PARADISE

[attr="class","addr"]darth vader

LAIKA OF GS!

[newclass=.addr:hover]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:1;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.addr]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass]

[darth vader]

no hope all heart

He hears her speak. The time for her voice to translate into words, into understanding, seems unbearably long. And not long enough. "You're going back to the Survey Corps," he says flatly. "No. They're taking you back." He needs to think, somehow. Past the white noise in his head.  "I didn't hear anything about this. Not even a whisper. Sophia, if I had known--" He crosses the distance between them in two strides and reaches for her hand. "This isn't justice," he says. "And they aren't going to just rip you away from your life on a whim after you had a trial and a sentence. The Survey Corps aren't above the law, no matter what they think. I won't let them." The hand still at his side, still clenched into a fist, is shaking.

LAIKA OF GS!

[redox-kun]

[attr="class","stt"]

for a woman who was little more than a vigilante, a woman who was prepared to stand against the rest of humanity, 'justice' was too much. sophia had a good look at the district while she walked to his office, and she imagined that he must have been happy here. as happy as she once was. for him to oppose this peace and prosperity for her sake, it was almost unimaginable. except he would prove his allegiance to her again and again, and it breaks her every time before welding her whole again.

"i chose all of this when i decided to stop running away." she would have rather died than run away any longer. he's the only man who knows the real reason she joined the scouting legion to begin with, and she doesn't intend to change that. "zahir, i never had a life to lose in those ten years." partly out of choice, partly out of circumstance. "i don't know how you managed to buy those twelve months for me, but they were more than i could have ever hoped for. my conscription isn't a waste. rather, your gifts were a boon." the words tumble out of her like a stream, unscripted. his hand is warm, and she holds it firmly. there is no place for professionalism when what zahir deserves is sincerity.

PARADISE

[attr="class","addr"]darth vader

LAIKA OF GS!

[newclass=.addr:hover]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:1;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.addr]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass]

[darth vader]

no hope all heart

He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say. For the first time in his life, maybe, he's frozen. Spinning her judgement into exile instead of execution, he could manage. But he doesn't know what he can do when she's not standing on his side of the battle any longer. He squeezes her hand. If it's an action born out of helplessness or comfort, he doesn't know. "You must know there's no guarantee they're bringing you back to actually serve as a soldier," he says. "You should have someone go with you. To look out for your interests. Someone outside of the military, unbound by their hierarchy, someone they can't strip of rank and send away. Sophia."

LAIKA OF GS!

[redox-kun]

[attr="class","stt"]

she wasn't entirely sure who he was talking about at first. the only person who cared enough to go to those lengths was daniel, but that was impossible for obvious reasons. the person number two would be --

(no, he can't)

"i've survived the legion for ten years. ninety percent of the scouts die after four years" sophia tries not to be sharp with him, but it's a little difficult when he's offering to give up more than she was willing to accept. "the legion is prideful, but not stupid enough to throw away someone with such a survival rate." the sheer unpredictability of the field never inspires absolute confidence in sophia, but for his sake, she has to pretend.

maybe she should be drawing away, before he decides to involve himself any further. in the perfect script, this is where she heroically spurns his advances in order to buy his tomorrow. it's only a pity that she was never the heroine of this story. her hand stays, along with her hopes.

PARADISE

[attr="class","addr"]darth vader

LAIKA OF GS!

[newclass=.addr:hover]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:1;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass][newclass=.addr]width:106px;height:66px;background-color:#C1C1C1;color: #000;margin-top:-106px;padding-top:40px;font-size:10px;opacity:0;-webkit-transition: all .7s ease-in-out;[/newclass]