ROADS UNTRAVELEDFeaturing Egao, Egao Everywhere as Soldier Blue (Toward The Terra) and Vira as Saber (Fate Stay/Night)May 22, 2013 - Aug 1, 2013
SPECTRUM AUG 2013POST 1 | SABERIn her quest to find a purpose in an unfamiliar place, Saber found herself at the entrance of an oddly ornate building. It was by no means a castle, but the leaders of the town were said to reside here, in this “Council Building.” To Saber, the notion of rule by council seemed inefficient and borderline foolishness. How could different people work together and shoulder the demands of a community? A monarchy would be more effective in her mind, but it was not her decision. Saber would accept this form of leadership, so long as the leadership accepted her. It was this issue of acceptance, and the issue of thriving, that caused Saber to seek out a certain Councilmember in the first place.
Saber was, by trade, a warrior and a good one at that. She had never known any other way of life, nor did she desire to learn. But alas, when forced into a community setting, the King of Knights could not thrive. Throughout her life as both a King and Servant, the basic necessities of living had been taken care of for her by others. Even the concept of currency was foreign to her, as she had never before needed to purchase anything for herself. As both a King and Servant, she was given, and she earned these gifts through the use of her sword. It seemed to her, then, that employment in the Town Guard would be most suitable.
And that was how Saber had ended up pushing her way through heavy wooden doors of the Council Building, to meet with the councilman known as Soldier Blue, whom she was told would assign her to a position in regard to the defense of the town. A clicking sound resounded through the formal-looking building as Saber’s heels struck smooth marble. The Servant held herself in a dignified manner which matched the armor-less blue dress she wore. There was no need for weapons here, she figured, even if the lack of her usual silver armor made her appear more delicate than she’d prefer.
After crossing the building’s main entryway, it did not take long for Saber to locate the councilman’s office. As she raised her hand to knock, the girl suddenly stopped. The idea of asking for a job… what did that entail? It was another new concept for her, and much to her chagrin, she found herself suddenly nervous. It was a ridiculous fear, she told herself, but Saber still found herself unable to knock. Like a frustrated lion, the Heroic Spirit paced, gritting her teeth in order to harden her resolve.
‘What kind of King am I?’ she questioned ruefully, lamenting how far from grace she’d fallen with a flustered sigh. Only when she took a deep breath did Arturia Pendragon find that she was calm enough to knock. And so three times she did just that, before stepping back respectfully to await an answer.
POST 2 | SOLDIER BLUE
No response called out to the knocks. The door opened by itself, swinging inward to the side by a hand that wasn’t human, for Soldier Blue sat unmoving behind his desk - his eyes cast distantly on the surface where his fingers entwined, not turning as if he had not noticed his guest - and no one else but Saber stood by the door. The blue energy that manipulated the doorknob dissipated like mist.
He did not say anything for a while and no smile traced his lips. No papers lied sprawling across his desk, no charts, reports or data whatsoever to be putting him in such a grim thought. None but a child’s rag doll sitting aloof on one side against his nameplate accompanied his arms on the desk. Even then it, along with the entire room, remained ignored and untouched by interest. The thoughts he were so deeply engrossed and how long he had been since (there was no visible sign he had been partaking on any other activity at that point of the day) were all going to be left for guesswork.
He looked very still he might have passed as a statue but the marble he would have been made of was the softest, most worn out kind, showing age and exhaustion past its pristine, immortal skin. His eyes were far from hollow. They swam with unspoken sadness brought upon by years and years.
He did not realize the seconds he had let passed by. They felt shorter than that.
“Yes?”
It was as soft as a murmur that seemed to echo in the room. Blue had sensed anxiety standing behind the door. He did not make guesses of what it was, didn’t really matter much to him if it were grim news or not but it must be something related to his work. He was feeling quite weary right now but he would not turn his head away from people who would need him.
He finally looked up, staring at Saber’s blue eyes with his reds.
POST 3 | SABER
For a man that was supposed to be in charge of the defense of the Town, Soldier Blue seemed awfully weary to Saber, who was used to any and all military leaders of her time being loud, boisterous, and passionate about their work. Perhaps this was because these war leaders tended to die early, she would never know, but the age of the councilman, she sensed, was extensive. She felt as though she were intruding upon his privacy; if the door had not been so blatantly opened on purpose by some form of magecraft, she would have left him in peace. But instead, she stood awkwardly at the entryway, hoping for some kind of permission to enter. She was the intruder and he the host; no social convention she associated herself with dictated any less than this courtesy.
As she waited, Saber’s eyes scanned the office briefly. There was no official work to be seen anywhere in the space; it almost seemed too pristine to warrant such a comatose reception. Past furniture and space, her eyes finally came to rest on the councilman himself. White eyes, red hair, Saber toyed with the idea that this man was a homunculus but soon discarded it. All of the Einzbern homunculus who bore these traits had been female, and none matched the presence of quiet power that this man exuded. She wondered at this person, wondered why he seemed so very weary yet at the same time, ethereal…
A single word broke the silence, almost causing Saber to jump. It took her a moment to regain her composure, and after she had, she took a cautious step into the room, past the door, royal blue dress swishing loudly in the quiet. Any anxiety she previously possessed was buried somewhere where it would not make a reappearance.
“You are Councilman Soldier Blue, are you not?” the knight asked, staring straight at the man she was addressing, unwavering in his sanguine gaze. If the placard on his desk held any weight, then Saber had made no mistake in his identity, and so she continued without waiting long for a confirmation. “I am Saber,” she said simply and with a slight, courteous bow, not wishing to flood him with the useless tidbits like titles and nicknames she had gathered throughout her life, titles that most likely meant nothing to this man in the first place. “I am a new arrival here, and wish to join the Town Guard. I was directed to you. Am I correct in presuming that, as your name suggests, you are in charge of matters regarding the defense of this community?” Saber clasped her hands in front of her without tearing her gaze from the councilman’s.
POST 4 | SOLDIER BLUE
“Ah…” Some of the tension in him looked like it melted, poured out within an amused sigh. A new employee? Blue couldn’t believe his manners. Sulking was not a way to greet recruits. He rose from his chair, pushing himself up the desk and greeted Saber with a smile.
“Sorry, I was deep in thought – please, come on in.”
Blue’s office was not suited for discussion meetings. He had no spare chair for Saber. Most of his past visitors were messengers, delivering him a written or verbal report. They were all prompt: in and out they go. As for the previous town guards that had come looking for him…they hadn’t found him. It so happened each time they had come, Blue was not in the premises so they would be passed over to another councilperson, who would have the secretary passing Blue a memo about a new town guard the next day. Sometimes he would set out to meet them; sometimes he would just sign the approval.
He supposed it was Saber’s lucky day. It depended on what perspective. Some might be relieved, some might be disappointed. Whatever outcome they would have preferred though, Blue was glad to finally be around for one town guard volunteer.
A newcomer to the world, too. This was going to be a twofold task for Blue.
“Yeah, I am that man,” – he stretched his hand out over the desk to Saber – “welcome, Saber. I only handle operations and procedures behind the scenes. The town guards themselves do the action. Soldier…has always been part of my name.”
He didn’t take her assumption as an offense. Saber was actually the first to assume – no, to say that out loud. Other people had always found it perhaps odd or even disturbing to have a name like that but they had never asked or said anything. Everyone came from somewhere different so what was strange for one could be normal for another. For the same reason, Blue ought not to ask if Saber was her real name, at least not until he could learn more about her and be assured it would be safe to do so.
POST 5 | SABER
With explicit permission to do so, Saber walked further into the office. The lack of a chair didn’t bother her; in fact, she hardly noticed. The only time Saber ever expected a chair for herself was when she was a part of the Round Table. As a Heroic Spirit, she was more than content to stand. And so she did just that, facing Soldier Blue’s desk and returning a small smile of her own that only stuck around because of Blue’s kind welcome. She shook his hand stiffly, but began to unwind her tension the more he talked.
“I thank you for your welcome,” she said, nodding courteously and maintaining her formal, regal bearings. “Soldier is a strong name, but not all soldiers are warriors. The Guard is well organized, you seem worthy of the title from what I can tell. Believe me when I say that military leaders will always have my utmost respect, Councilman,” Saber’s musings were simply preliminary observations, but they rang true nonetheless. Having been in charge of warriors in her time, she understood that his job was, most likely, rather difficult and her opinion of him was strengthened for it. After all, there always needs to be someone behind the scenes to work out the messy details of running a fighting force, even in Saber’s command there had been someone like that…
Back to the business at hand. The knight never deviated long from serious matters. “Will you accept me as a member of the Town Guard then, or do you need more information first?” she asked carefully. So far, this man had not questioned her gender, her size, or her skill, which was surprising as both her Masters in the Wars had done so almost immediately (though not necessarily out loud). Saber was prepared for any barrage of questions that may be thrown her way, and she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin in an attempt to make herself look less like a simple girl in a fancy dress and more like knight she thought herself to be.
POST 6 | SOLDIER BLUE
Being up close and making a brief, physical contact, Blue was able to gauge Saber better. She radiated with a regal air. He knew instantly that he was speaking to someone experienced and Saber's statement seemed to promise just that. She was courteous but not flattering, as she wisely reserved her full praise without making rude implications. He could also see a mark of her character in every syllable she uttered - methodological and reasonable by nature. She was strong. That much Blue could sense already.
But with all the formalities and rapport Saber was exhibiting, Blue didn't show any sign of being impressed but neither did he appear displeased. He was impassive. He stared calculatingly into her eyes with the attention of an entire crowd bearing upon her and gave her total silence while she spoke as if she were making an elaborate speech. When she was done, having gone straight to hear the answer she was here for, Blue deprived her once more of an immediate response. The smile he bore just moments ago seemed to have been simply a trick of the light.
"I see," was all he said before sitting back down.
Saber said a number of interesting things that hinted plenty of things about her background. Besides the irony of hearing her say that not all soldiers were warriors, she seemed to think the security force was the town's military might. Armies would not rise as long as no one in power would seek ambition. She also seemed to consider herself to be of some authority over soldierly given her comment about the Guard.
To be honest, Blue had a lot of questions. She arrived unarmed. Was she a magic-user? Hidden weapons, maybe? Or perhaps she simply did not bring it.
"What information would you like to tell me?" he asked back, tilting his head slightly to the side. He decided it was smarter to let Saber openly share information about herself rather than pressure her to answer and, most likely, dodge questions directed at her. He realized it was a harder task he was asking. Certainly if Saber were like any other person, Blue would not be as indirect but Saber was a bit more unique. From her charisma and aura, she had more in her persona. She deserved more and she could probably do more. He had not forgotten the anxiety she bore before she had come into the office. But seeing her appearing confident and in control, Blue wouldn't have known better.
But he knew and it changed his impression of Saber. He had been able to tell the initial stiffness from the handshake because he knew he had to pay attention to it. He could imagine how she must have stood behind the door - swallowing doubts to press on because he had been through that.
There was nothing strange about feeling nervous but most people would overlook such idea on people like Blue. He knew from experience. As a leader, he was expected less to be like a man and more of a miracle-worker. Be it through the power of might, mind or words, he had to stand before them with his head up high. For Saber to project some of these details that Blue found familiar, he thought there was a connection - even if ever small - between their experiences. He hoped that by making Saber talk more, she might be more at ease. Not with Blue but with herself.
POST 7 | SABER
The man before her was unreadable. Saber had given up trying to decipher what he was thinking; he’d obviously been at this too long for her to judge his thoughts or gauge his opinion. At that, she was a novice. At best. Or so she had been told; there was a time when Saber liked to believe that she understood people after ruling them for ten years. That was an illusion, she’d come to find. This councilman was no illusion, however. He was real. And he undoubtedly had some sort of expectations for her, since he was so abstract in his questioning. Any normal person would have asked her questions that she would numbly answer like the dutiful knight she was. Blue seemed to understand that, anticipate it, and so he avoided it as skillfully and calmly as a master. It left her in a situation where she felt obligated to answer.
Perhaps if Saber had known her anxiety from earlier had shown through like a wet t-shirt, she might have been more wary in telling her story. Or at least more embarrassed. But as it was, she chose only see what appeared to be natural curiosity from the other party. It was expected. “There are not many things that I would like to tell you. There are, however, things you should know if I am to… work under you, Councilman,” Saber could barely register the last part of her statement, it seemed that surreal. She, the Legendary King Arthur, now had a potential superior that she would openly admit. It was almost laughable how uncomfortable she was feeling. Masters from Wars were different matters of course, they were supposed to be equals (supposed to be, Kiritsugu would have had her crawling on the ground like a worm if he had it his way). But if she were to work as a Town Guardsman, which was absolute necessity if she were to survive here, Saber would just have to swallow her pride and work under this man. There was no way around it.
The King of Knights could do that. Of course she could.
The first part of her explanation was controlled. This was business. There were things Soldier Blue needed to know. “I told you my name was Saber, but that is a half-truth. My name is Arturia Pendragon. The King of Knights, if you will,” the girl gave a slight smile, but her voice was weaker than she wanted it to be. “That may or may not mean anything to you, I understand. Just know that I was a King, and I was a disappointment,” Saber said the last part with great bitterness. But once the words started, she could not stop them. Her will mattered not, and the story kept coming seemingly of its own accord, in an unfamiliar way. “There’s more to it than that, of course, but it does not matter. I died, in a way, and I was summoned to participate in a War against mages and other heroes twice afterwards. The prize was the Holy Grail, which I never achieved. And now I am here.”
The man had asked, had he not? She had told him. Saber took on a regal and fierce bearing in reaction to her revelations; her honesty had not yet tarnished her pride in her ability as a warrior (though it was only a matter of time). “But do not mistake my words, Councilman. It was not idly that I obtained my title of the strongest Servant Class. I am Saber. My sword alone has earned that right.”
In spite of her bitterness from before, Saber was resolute. She looked at Blue with an open heart but a guarded expression, feeling as though she had just bared her soul to the man. In reality, what she said had barely scratched the surface. It was just a lot for her. A necessity, she tried to tell herself. It did not matter his reaction, it was simply the truth. If so… then why was she watching him so carefully for any change in his disposition?
POST 8 | SOLDIER BLUE
“So, it is Saber whom I am speaking to now,” he stated calmly. He did not see the sword Saber spoke of but neither did he see the crown she was enthroned with. He believed her, if not only because he had no interest of arguing her claims. Was it the sword that made her a warrior just as much as it had been the crown that made her king? Was the former Saber, the “strongest” Servant Class and the latter Arturia, the “disappointment” King of Knights?
Saber was right in considering he might not understand the significance of some of the things she explained. He had an inkling her true name was something that would have normally been recognized. Otherwise, he saw no reason why she would hide it and then later on reveal it. He took her changing of name as a symbolical representation of her rebirth when Arturia “died,” burying with her the mistakes and errors of the past that had left Saber be haunted with bitterness.
Blue looked at her façade, wondering to whose benefit she was putting a strong face for.
“As a former king, don’t you believe you have better rights to be in my position than me?”
It was not a test to dare her to challenging his authority. His question was innocently hypothetical - frank.
“It would be wiser to underestimate me. Times are peaceful so what you see right now is hardly a result of leadership but of coexistence.”
POST 9 | SABER
Saber did not flinch as he stated the obvious. She stared steadfast at a corner of the room, and contemplated the existence of a foolish girl named Arturia. What did this councilman know of identity? He was so awfully composed and collected, in a way that he was able to unseat even Saber’s calm yet appear harmless in the process. She wondered vaguely if he was simply curious about her, or if he cared at all about the information divulged.
His next line of questioning evoked a ripple in her mask. Like he could target the hairline fractures of the porcelain doll that called herself a knight, with the precision of a surgeon. Saber did not waste time before answering the question, nor did she look at him when she gave a response.
“No, I do not have the right to a position of leadership. Not here. Not anywhere. I may have been a King, but I was also the demise of my kingdom. I wish to avert that fate, not repeat it,” she answered his question as matter-of-factly as she could. Memory was serving up a darkened night, a feast of kings, a conversation that forever warped her perspective on her life. She could recall it like it was yesterday.
‘You saved them, but you never led them…’
“I am not fit to rule, even in a time of peace.”
‘Thus, you are no true King…’
“And you have given me no reason to underestimate your abilities.”
‘You are only a little girl, enraptured by a false idol of the king who serves others, but not themselves…’
“Which is why I offer my sword to you, as it is the only thing I know.”
The whisperings of her mind faded. Saber looked at Blue with expressionless eyes; there was no changing her mind in what it perceived as the truth. Whatever inner turmoil occurred within she had sealed within herself and thrown away the key. Even so, she contemplated this man who perhaps would make a better King than she.
“Tell me, Councilman, for I am curious. As a ruler, do you live to serve others, or do others live to serve you?”
POST 10 | SOLDIER BLUE
His gaze narrowed sharply. An outsider’s presence had made its way in Saber’s words. The speech of hers he had come to know and like suddenly changed like the souring of a sweet fruit. He needn’t do anything to pry inside Saber’s mind. He could hear it muttering from the hollow depths.
“Who are you?”
No answer came to Blue. He could make out the silhouette of a tall, muscular man. Though his features were very vague, Blue could tell he was saying something but he didn’t hear anything. No, it felt like the man was speaking too soft for him to hear. Some sort of metal chimed a couple of times – a chalice? Then the color of red objects repeatedly flashed in his head and he thought he heard the distant sound of thundering hooves.
Irrelevant. Saber felt no strong emotion for the person at all. What was it? The mouth that was saying something, talking without a hint of malice…What did it tell her? Why couldn’t Blue hear it?
He found her emotionless eyes wandering back in to a straight path, turning a blind eye to the lost spirit sitting helplessly in the middle of the broken road. He didn’t answer her. He stared deep into her cold eyes, letting her plainly see for once what was in his mind.
Sadness.
“Is it really just curiosity, Saber?” he asked quietly. He appeared even weaker, frailer. The age that had yet to wrinkle his skin seemed to leak out of his eyes and voice. “Is it my answer that you wish to hear or the answer that you would like to hear? Because surely, you already know…”
Blue slightly pushed himself forward, placing his hands on top of each other, his gaze cast down on the table.
“We are not that different.”
POST 11 | SABER
she stared at him and did not move, not a muscle. how can he see through her like a glass figurine? of course it wasn’t curiosity; saber needed his opinion in the same way she needed to breathe. because she had opened herself up to him, she needed to be told if she was truly wrong, if she should forget the pride she had carried in the beginning. if she should simply forget that she was ever a king in the first place.
like that could happen.
and saber’s mask twisted into one of confusion as he simply drops his guard and she sees, for the first time, emotion in those sanguine eyes.
sadness. it made her remember the timeless ages spent atop a hill, amidst a sea of corpses, corpses of her friends, with weapons like headstones sticking out amongst the carnage. a world away from the touch of time. in that loneliness, she had contemplated the depth of her regret. and in soldier blue’s eyes she thought she saw a reflection of what she had come to find underneath a bloodstained sky.
“you were a king in your time, in your world,” terminology aside, it was a conclusion, not a question. yes, she felt as though a deeper part of herself guessed it from the beginning, but she had not understood nor realized. why this man seemed to know her- it was because he was the same.
of course, that openness was not mutual. try as she might, the king of knights did not understand people, even those who were just like her. she never had, she most likely never would. saber attempted to maintain an unwavering visage, but she visibly quivered. “and do you regret the way you lived?” a soft voice, barely a whisper. perhaps, she thought, she already knew the answer to her own question. but she did not venture a guess; she wanted to hear it from the man’s own lips.
POST 12 | SOLDIER BLUE
"Regret?" he asked. "To what purpose would I offer my regrets in a life lived for the sake of others and for those to come? I am no king but if kings ruled differently then they are not worthy to rule; they will never be able to justify the people who suffered under their name."
His eyes were still trained on his hands. He did not look at her shaken mask, did not listen to her whispered voice; he felt for her feelings and thoughts that which she was directing to him, deluded that he was another image of her past and projecting to him her miserable defeat. The sadness she saw was not Blue's. The memory it triggered was not his. She saw exactly what she wanted to see: her failure and she questioned him to confirm the reality of the haunting. In a twisted way, Saber was excitedly taking note of the differences and the similarities; the giant shadow Blue saw and the telltale death of Arturia; the right and the wrong.
"Don't be weak, Saber," he said suddenly after he had answered her. "Do not think of others to be above yourself. What kind of king chooses the judgment of others over his own, to hand over the fate of his people to someone other than himself? What kind of king looks over to the past when his people had moved on?
"What difference were you hoping words alone can accomplish, Arturia Pendragon?"
POST 13 | SABER
His voice evoked emotion in her, emotion she had so long attempted to divorce herself from. “Don’t be weak, Saber.” Was that what she was? Was she weak? His evocation of her name, her true name, not the Servant’s title she had adopted, was what brought her out of her stupor. Arturia Pendragon twisted her hands into fists, ceased the trembling of her knees that she had not noticed. No.
“I am not weak,” that, Saber said with conviction. Her hollow voice did not waver on that matter. But his words rung true, and she felt as though she would be able to handle the situation better if the councilman had just stabbed at her heart. At least then, she would know what to do. What to say. But even the Holy Sword Excalibur could not cut through words, even the golden blade could not spare her from what he said. “I… My people…” They had moved on, hadn’t they? Britain was a country. It was once an empire, after her time. Yet she could only see the burning countryside that she had left. But now the people, descendants of her people, had moved on. The darkness had passed, the fire had burned out, and the spirit rekindled. And she was still stuck on it. Perhaps it was time to let go. Was it already too late?
“It was never just words. That is why I fought. For a wish from the Holy Grail, to rewrite my legend,” she looked away, embarrassed after his questioning to admit such a thing as her wish for the Holy Grail War. That was why she had fought. Why she had killed. Why she had stabbed Lancelot, forsaken friendship, and cursed the name of the man who forced her to destroy her dream. For nothing but pathetic regret. “You tell me… you say that I am wrong to regret. Am I to be happy then?”
POST 14 | SOLDIER BLUE
Blue’s eyes closed at Saber’s question momentarily. He contemplated quietly, opening his eyes again and bringing his interlaced hands up to cradle his chin. His gaze was still lowered, not meeting Saber’s eyes so he seemed as if to speak to himself and alienate Saber.
“If you cannot see a cause to be happy then it is even less of a reason to believe you should. Logic often times tries to make humans believe that the heart is mistaken. It’s a clever design to push humans to search for what they don’t know, for what they think they know so that they earn the wisdom they would need to understand what they truly feel and desire, because as it is, humans are too complex for themselves to understand.” His eyes finally move up to Saber, analyzing. “That’s why you will find people providing endless arguments and rarely any answer. You must have heard it from yourself, heard it from others, and you could even hear it from me: different points tugging you back and forth. Where do you stand now because of them? Have you gone forward closer to your answer?
“Listen to your heart; it knows the truth. You must never give up on finding it. Then, you will know if you should be happy.”
Blue took a deep breath and sighed softly. The chair scrapped against the floor as he rose from it. The man turned to the window behind him and looked over to the other side of the glass, a scene of thriving vegetation. On one of the stalk of a yellow bell, a butterfly struggled to escape from the grasps of the grasshopper. Its empty cocoon was not too far behind, having just gone out to see the world. It broke free but one wing had been torn off. Whether it cared if it were going to die or not, the butterfly did not hesitate on setting its sight on the newly blossomed flowers from spring, sucking nectar as it had been born to do.
“Arturia, I can only provide you guidance. My ideas are just as damaging as the rest if you’ve lost faith for your own. But know that mistakes are not a matter of right or wrong. Rather, they supplement the choices you make and sometimes…it is only through the wrong choices that we realize what the right thing to do is.”
POST 15 | SABER
Right choices, wrong choices. She’d made many of both in her three existances. But learning was a process that took time and patience. And the knight contemplated this, she considered her own happiness. Since she had made her deal with the world atop Camlainn hill, Saber had defined her happiness with the achievement of the Holy Grail. Such achievement had eluded her, not once but twice. First, by her own hand, next at the whim of what appeared to be the universe, the whim that had landed her in a place where she should not have existed. Here, there was no Grail to fight for. No grail to die for. No wish to live for. Did that mean she couldn’t be happy?
No. Of course not.
What Soldier Blue said made her open her eyes, his use of her true name (not the Servant class she had adopted to mask her identity) made her listen. She was the obstacle between herself and happiness. It was not Lancelot. It was not Kiritsugu. It was not Mordred, not her reign. Kings had reigned throughout the ages, the eons of human civilization. All had done things they were proud of, and things that had their consequences. Here in front of her there was a man, not a king per say, but a leader nonetheless. The indifference, the lack of caring... Saber could never be Rider. She would always remember, she would always know and live with the consequences of her actions. But did she have to regret? No.
And once she realized, Saber felt her heart grow a little lighter. Perhaps with time, the weight that she struggled against would lift. But it could not happen in one day.
“You are wiser than you appear, your ideals less damaging than most I would like to believe,” the girl commented, watching the man as he crossed the room, remaining ignorant of the struggle of nature that he watched.
Was she a wingless butterfly? A helpless creature, torn by nature. It had no power, yet it continued on. Certainly the King of Knights could continue on as well, do the duties still required of her. She hadn't lost her wing, hadn't lost her sword.
Saber had yet to move from her own spot, but made no motion to do so. The Servant flesh from which she was made did not protest so much, as a mortal body might from staying locked in one position for so long. There really wasn’t a place for her to go, and she certainly did not want to encroach more upon the councilman’s personal space. She had already invaded his office with her talk of self-loathing, her failures.
“It is unforgivable for me to fling my own troubles upon you,” she said suddenly, shaking her head and looking away. Soldier Blue was not a psychologist after all, he was supposed to be her boss. “I hope that you do not think less of me for it.”
POST 16 | SOLDIER BLUE
Blue turned around and smiled gently. “I implored you to tell me because I sensed your inner turmoil. You shouldn’t concern yourself with petty things like pride; asking for help is a bigger step forward. Moreover…” He trailed off, his eyes staring deeply into Saber’s soul.
“I feel in time, you will be able to lead with greatness once more. I look forward to seeing it, Arturia Pendragon.”
Blue shook his head.
“My job is to help people and as a human being, it is a natural obligation for each us to do so. You have flung me no troubles at all." The man began walking toward Saber, his crimson gaze not leaving her. What an honest woman. She insisted with the same formal tone, blanking her face void of emotion as she could yet her heart was on her sleeve. Whoever had instilled on her those false ideals should be ashamed for tarnishing a pure soul like Saber.
"Saber."
He stopped when he was half a foot away from her, meeting her up close for the first time. He had addressed her so this time as Saber, the so-called "servant." How ironic was it that her alter-ego be the opposite of the other? Or was there even a difference? He stood directly before her, just barely being taller and a look of surprise briefly crossed him. She had green eyes just like Jomy...But the thought was instantly gone when he reaffirmed a confident state.
"If you truly believe that life is precious and sacred, then lend me your strength. We have no common race, religion or ideology. You have no obligations or loyalties to make excuses for. This land that isn't ours, this world that we do not belong and these people that we were not born with - would you still do it? Would you sacrifice your life to protect everything that doesn't concern you?"
POST 17 | SABER
His eyes were of the sort that could peer into the heart, like it was some sort of open window that even she couldn’t see through. Saber met his eyes though, still standing tall, as tall as she had when she first came into the office wearing all the pride she could muster. That had been stripped away to the bare bones in hardly any time at all. Chivalry was a strong skeleton still. Blue said that he had sensed her inner turmoil, and she could only part her lips in surprise. Was it really so obvious?
“I am surprised at how well you seem to know me after so short a time, your words have given me comfort, Councilman. If it is your job, then you have done it well,” she nodded and continued to watch his movements, unabashedly observing levelly until he stood but a foot away and uttered her class, her pride. Her name she realized with a jolt, and Arturia Pendragon faded back into the background of her mind, though Saber had been originally unaware that the old king had strode forward in the first place.
“Lend me your strength…”There was dead seriousness in the knight’s eyes, and she held her hands a hair’s breadth from her chest, forearms parallel with the ground. A soft golden light, quiet at first then stronger, formed in her empty palms, extending upward and out into the form of an aureate sword. The bare blade was held steadily barely inches from her face, invisible air null as it showed its true form, a slight breeze tossing the girl’s bangs. “I accept. Councilman Soldier Blue,” jade eyes were fierce, serious as though completing some sort of ritual. “I am your sword. Your cause is mine, my life yours.”
It was hardly a moment after she finished speaking that Excalibur began to fade from existence, until it was no more than a cloud of golden dust. “So long as you uphold your honor, do with it what you will.”
POST 18 | SOLDIER BLUE
He had left to his general knowledge the shape and form of Saber’s sword after having presumed her weapon of choice some time during their discussion. A knight wielded a sword and if her name were any indication then she certainly was a master of the blade. Soldier Blue did not expect to witness a small but breath-taking spectacle when Saber drew the sword in question out of thin air to make her oath. The golden blade materialized from her hands, emitting with such presence and force, pure and holy, that it amazed Blue how Saber could hold it with ease. It was no ordinary weapon. He could sense it practically overflowing with energy. Such power…Blue was eager to see it be swung at full force someday. He couldn’t wait to see what miracles Saber would perform with it.
What was its name? Before he could focus his mind on the sword, the sword dissipated to golden dust. He wasn’t disappointed. The fact that Saber had kept the sword hidden with untold secrecy – of which Blue saw wise – meant that seeing it was more than enough an opportunity. He kept his eyes at Saber’s, having not made his interest in her sword transparent. The weapon would never be his to swing but through Saber, it had become his.
He was fortunate to have Saber on his side. Power led to many possibilities. Perhaps not now but sometime in the far future. He made no guesses of what but peace could never live on forever. There would come a time. There would always come a time and he might not even be alive when that happens.
Blue closed his eyes.
“So long as I uphold my honor,” he started. “…as you see fit.”
He opened them again, giving Saber a firm and proud look.
“It’s good to have you on board, Saber.”
POST 19 | SABER
Soldier Blue’s reaction was placid. Curious, interested, maybe, but not gaping, surprised. Saber certainly was not surprised. Still, the sword was a secret of her heart that she would not bear that day. Excalibur was a small part of herself that only she held, a golden light that she could devote herself to fully, without holding back. It was constant, from the first moment she had held it in her hands, through war and blood and shame, until… the end, she hoped. When it came.
The promise of victory, Saber had discovered, was sometimes the only thing that held her up. When every light went out, it was on this sole crutch that allowed the former king to limp on. But now… for once, she did not feel alone. She did not feel ashamed to drop the façade of the knight, to reveal the broken king beneath. As the sword disappeared, Arturia realized that she did not need a crutch. And while she would devote herself to the sword, she would not depend on it. She was Arturia Pendragon. Saber. The King of Knights. She did not plan on burying it any longer.
When he accepted her oath, Saber felt a small relief.“Naturally,” A dip of her head, “it is the servant that judges the master’s honor.” Blue had no command spells to reign in a wayward Servant. He only had this one chance. And perhaps, she thought wryly, that was why she trusted him.
Her rigid posture was broken then, shoulders slumping forward if only slightly. Tired. She was so very tired. But relieved. So very relieved. Saber could not remember feeling lighter at any point in her life, in any point in a War. A burden she had not known she was carrying had suddenly lessened. A weak smile tugged at her lips. “If there is nothing else, Councilman…” What else could she say? “I will take my post.” Saber held his gaze a moment longer than what was probably necessary. There was something unspoken in her eyes as she turned to go.
‘Your words have been more comfort than you know… thank you.’
POST 20 (END) | SOLDIER BLUE
He didn't hear in his head the unreaching thought she tried to relay. There had been no telepathy involved. Between his proud look and her weak smile was an exchange no one else heard.
”You are not fit to be a servant, Saber. You think too little of yourself but this might be for the best. It’s not wrong to carry the past with us. None of us are unburdened of sins but is it right to surrender to our flaws? Must we rectify all our mistakes to be happy?" He watched her leave without another word, noticing how different her form was from when she first entered the room.
"You’ve lived far too long as a king. Maybe a change of role can let you see what it’s like to live more like a person."
As he finished his line of thought, the door closed, leaving Blue to listen to the silence he was left with. He continued to stare at the door.
"Saber," he said aloud, somehow knowing for sure that she was still there on the same spot that she hesitated on, for her to hear.
"It wasn't right of me to call you weak. We are alike in many ways but the sole factor that differed the path of our lives is..." (the green eyes her saw in Saber returned) "...luck" (and replacing the rest of her features was Jomy's.)
"Saber is a strong name."
Five years ago, the Pokemon League formed Lux to create a new world order of peace and harmony. A rebellion formed, under the name of Nox, cries tyranny at Lux's new microcosmic control. Their civil war now tears the Pokemon world apart. The world hangs in the balance of predormitum. Which side will you choose?
is a high stakes RP set in a dystopian Russian society recovering from an apocalyptic war between the armies of Heaven and Hell. Greater Russia now stands free from the influence of God and the Devil, and all non-humans run the risk of execution. Outside the safe zones lies the contained wasteland of Moscow, where demons and mutated shadowbeasts continue to terrorize the remaining human survivors who have been penned in with them. As of late, increasing evangelic disturbances threaten the peace that has ruthlessly maintained by the secret police.
